#fasttailedgirls

So I'm late to this discussion per usual, but I did have the depressing privilege of reading this article: http://jezebel.com/what-we-absolutely-must-talk-about-when-we-talk-about-r-1484481115. As someone who has been an R.Kelly fan for as long as I can remember, it saddens me to acknowledge my own blind eye mentality regarding the truth of the man who is a known sexual predator, and who has assaulted not one but countless young women all while I was vibin' to Bump and Grind Remix  in my car and singing it word for word. Let's just start with Aaliyah, because she is the 90s R&B princess who will be remembered for her soothing, sweet vocals, breath taking beauty and for introducing iconic 90s R&B fashion to the mainstream (tim's for girls, baggy jeans, half top, bandana anyone?). She unfortunately is also remembered for a short marriage to R. Kelly when she was only 15 and he was 27. I was about 5 years younger than Aaliyah at the time but when her album One in Million came out, I was just about as clueless as most of us were that just about ALLLLL of the songs on that album were referencing the sick and twisted, no doubt manipulative madness that was her marriage and union with R. Kelly. He also didn't graduate from high school..ewww. He should keep wearing those despicable shades.

Think about it 'Age ain't nothin' but a number,' '4 page letter,' 'Gotta give it up,' all allude to the eerie, inappropriate invisible hand of the child predator who was her then husband. I thankfully had the good fortune of engaging in my first intimate relationship at the ripe old age of 21. Even though I was technically an "adult" then, I was not mentally or emotionally prepared for the roller coaster of emotions I would begin to feel for a man who completely disrespected my virginity and gift I gave to him (I didn't lose it..I knew exactly where it was). Trust,  I wrote a lot of 4 page letters myself. Now looking back at myself in those days I too felt preyed on in a sense. I was young and impressionable and I was more than impressed by this older guy who was 28 at the time who seemingly had it all together and drove a Hummer. But honestly I cannot imagine being 14 or 15 and getting involved intimately with any man, much less a man 10 or 15 years older than me.

Anyway this article of much more import: http://www.xojane.com/issues/fasttailedgirls-sexual-assault-of-black-girls-is-not-a-joke and relevance really got me thinking this evening about why young black women in this country are so sexualized. I remember being told not to wear certain things for all of my life. I'm also from the South which has historically played and still plays it's own role in psychologically controlling women. But I was always reminded that "I" never wanted to attract the wrong kind of attention. If I attracted attention that was the wrong type, it was something that I did. How shameful and talk about a loss of innocence. Will I stop listening to R. Kelly's music tomorrow? I don't know, but I do know I will make a concerted effort to ween myself away from the smooth tunes and catchy lyrics that have been created, packaged and sold from the sexual assault and horrors imposed on young girls who look probably just like me.